In my work with couples, I draw upon different modalities of couples therapy. The models I mostly use are Gottman, Imago, Emotion Focused Therapy, and Attachment-Based Couples Therapy.
While these models are effective in couples work, I turn to them in the latter part of the sessions. The initial work focuses on establishing safe communication. In this area, I primarily use a model called “Non-violent Communication”. These principles maintain safety so each partner is able to show up in an authentic and vulnerable manner.
The 4 main components of NVC are
Observations - Each partner is able to describe behaviours from a neutral stance, without judgements and bias.
Feelings - Each partner is able to describe their inner world of feelings without criticizing or blaming the other partner.
Needs - Each partner recognizes that needs are an innate expression of our humanness. Needs describe what is most alive in us, as well as our core values. The goal is to identify, connect with, and express our needs.
Requests - Each partner can make requests of the other in order to meet their needs. It is helpful to identify specific actions to request and express them. An important piece here is willingness to receive “no” as an answer. We aim to creatively explore other strategies to connect with and meet our needs..
For clients who
Feel disconnected, invisible, and misunderstood in their relationship
Find themselves frequently arguing with their partner, with no resolution
Have general feelings of boredom, dissatisfaction, and unhappiness
Are recovering from infidelity
Want to strengthen their relationship and communication skills
Contact me to find out more.
